13 Comments

I’m new to this substack, and your words really resonate.

I live in Santa Rosa. We certainly are not LA, but we survived the Tubbs fire in 2017. It was the first time our city burned on such a large scale. 5,000 homes were destroyed. We’ve survived 3 major fires since. Almost 8 years later and it still feels like we’re trying to recover in some ways. Our school district, my current employer, is going through an incredibly painful consolidation process because so many families left.

My home didn’t burn in 2017. But we evacuated several times over those first days. On the second day, I went to work at my teaching job in Marin County, and 101 was so empty. Then I saw the fire trucks from down south heading up the freeway and burst into tears. Those early days were so, so strange and disconnected. I was also 7 months pregnant and in the middle of remodeling my house. There were days I wish the fire had taken our home so we could just start over. Life slowly became a new normal. I became a mother.

When covid hit, we were already used to masking because of air quality alerts. And then, 10 months into quarantine, my immunocompromised husband managed to pick up covid, probably out at Home Depot, where he went to escape the oppression of quarantine in a 1100 sq ft house, with a wife and a three year old. After 25 days on a ventilator, he died.

And here we are, 4 years after his death, and almost 8 years after the fires, and watching LA burn, and reading your story, takes me right back to all of that trauma. I’m glad you’re safe. I’m glad my friends in LA are safe. You know more than anyone that it will be a long road to that new normal. Sending love from Northern California.

Expand full comment

Oooof. Kate. Hand on your heart. Sending so much love back

Expand full comment

Every word felt like a prayer. To the people, places, writers and LA as home ...thank you. And as a young visitor from NJ with my own indelible memories --I imagine I did believe the convertible was the state flower.

Expand full comment

I love you, Barri 🫀

Expand full comment

Back at you! ⚓️🤍🪩

Expand full comment

this was so beautiful. thank you sending strength and love

Expand full comment

🫀❤️

Expand full comment

Rebecca, I've been reading your words for ages and ages, but this personal essay just blew me away. It so exactly captures -- well -- everything. I find myself responding these days to things like this, to art created by friends and strangers, with profound gratitude. That steam engine that is the Lord (Jack Gilbert) keeps on rolling over us all, but somehow it's ok when words, paint, gesture and LA light endure.

Expand full comment

Thank you. Elizabeth 🥹🫀

Expand full comment

I love you

Expand full comment

I love you more.

Expand full comment

growing up in AZ, I know the LA you speak of. I'm in IL and I am mourning the losses of all. It's so horribly tragic, things will not be the same and yet the beauty of the city and her people remain and the City of Angels will rise again.

Expand full comment

❤️

Expand full comment