Preach! I've been cheated on repeatedly and never made that choice myself, so I'll confess to a reflexive, self-defensive judgment in the face of anyone's infidelities. But then I remind myself that I chose all those guys who cheated on me, and I excused all the signs, as well as all the other shitty shit they did because I didn't want to be alone. Which didn't prevent me from being bitter and unhappy while I was with them, so who's blame-free there? Not me.
I don't expect, if/when I get into another relationship, I'll be prone to infidelity then either. I can barely imagine putting up with one person at a time. More than that just seems exhausting. But that's my failing, if you could call it that, and why I hesitate to contemplate dating again. Because I am an impatient, judgmental, weird, eccentric ,wild creature. Containment makes me resentful and bitey, sometimes without even realizing it. And sometimes I do realize it and instead of trying to be different (softer, less prone to acting stabby) I just wanna enumerate all my excuses for why I'm completely justified in being a total pain in the ass.
In other words, I'm a human. But there aren't a lot of men, in my experience, who have much patience with women being human and, if I've made any non-negotiable commitments to myself by now, it's that I don't waste my time on people who are in denial about their own imperfect humanity and expect me to be similarly inclined. NOPE. Not doing that.
Preach! I've been cheated on repeatedly and never made that choice myself, so I'll confess to a reflexive, self-defensive judgment in the face of anyone's infidelities. But then I remind myself that I chose all those guys who cheated on me, and I excused all the signs, as well as all the other shitty shit they did because I didn't want to be alone. Which didn't prevent me from being bitter and unhappy while I was with them, so who's blame-free there? Not me.
I don't expect, if/when I get into another relationship, I'll be prone to infidelity then either. I can barely imagine putting up with one person at a time. More than that just seems exhausting. But that's my failing, if you could call it that, and why I hesitate to contemplate dating again. Because I am an impatient, judgmental, weird, eccentric ,wild creature. Containment makes me resentful and bitey, sometimes without even realizing it. And sometimes I do realize it and instead of trying to be different (softer, less prone to acting stabby) I just wanna enumerate all my excuses for why I'm completely justified in being a total pain in the ass.
In other words, I'm a human. But there aren't a lot of men, in my experience, who have much patience with women being human and, if I've made any non-negotiable commitments to myself by now, it's that I don't waste my time on people who are in denial about their own imperfect humanity and expect me to be similarly inclined. NOPE. Not doing that.
This exactly. Especially “I don’t waste my time on people who are in denial of their own imperfect humanity.” Thank you.