I have four sister so I was raised that periods and all the issues, fluids, etc associated with being a female was normal. When I went to college, I was amazed to meet women who essentially pretended that they were some kind of miracle person who didn't have the normal bodily functions. Boys in college were grossed out by the thought of it, which is ridiculous when you consider the things they have dangling between their legs and their lack of control over it.
I would bring up the fact that I had my period or cramps or whatever when talking with the boys to determine if they were mature enough for me to be their friend or consider a relationship with them. As I grew older, this became an even more important 'tool' to gauge if the boy/man I was talking to was actually an adult or still an adolescent. When I was in my thirties, I had to have surgery due to issues with my reproductive system that resulted from drugs my mom took while pregnant with me (DES). My male manager asked questions about the surgery and then was SO embarrassed when he realized what part of my body we were discussing. So ridiculous.
That was the line I came here to blast ! Thank you for always blowing the lid off. I read your work and leave a little more brave, Rebecca. I think I have shared hard truths and blood letting until I read yours. Thank you, always.
Two things came to mind when I read this as well. About my dead Mom. (So thank you for that too!)
She once told me that she did not really know what sex was until she met my stepfather. And she feared for the kind of women we would become had she not left our Dad.
I wonder what her Substack would look like today and love imagining that for her.
"Guts are still guts even if you keep them in air-tight containers. And there is a difference between women in community and Tupperware parties." BRUTAL. I love this.
I love this so much and I am SOBBING. Thank you so much for demonstrating that it's ok to pull back the curtain and show people the icky stuff. Let people see how bad it gets, and be honest about the mess that you live in. That doing so is, as you say, freedom. I'm grateful you are brave and talk about the things we don't talk about. You light the way! ilysm5eva xoxo
I just pulled "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" off my bookshelf to give to my daughter and then realized I have no idea if it aged well so i should probably read it first. I'm sad I don't have II with me (though I definitely had it at some point). It'd be fun to re-read your chapter now after "knowing" you for 15+ years through blogging.
My Mourning Period was one of the chapters of your book that grabbed me as a reader … and one of the chapters I reference when I tell people they need to read your book.
My first therapist said something to me that I'll never forget... we ENTER THIS WORLD in a mess. The blood, excretions and all of it is messy and painful from the very beginning. And BTW-- kiss like a horse? Horse muzzles are so soft and sweet!!! muah!
I have four sister so I was raised that periods and all the issues, fluids, etc associated with being a female was normal. When I went to college, I was amazed to meet women who essentially pretended that they were some kind of miracle person who didn't have the normal bodily functions. Boys in college were grossed out by the thought of it, which is ridiculous when you consider the things they have dangling between their legs and their lack of control over it.
I would bring up the fact that I had my period or cramps or whatever when talking with the boys to determine if they were mature enough for me to be their friend or consider a relationship with them. As I grew older, this became an even more important 'tool' to gauge if the boy/man I was talking to was actually an adult or still an adolescent. When I was in my thirties, I had to have surgery due to issues with my reproductive system that resulted from drugs my mom took while pregnant with me (DES). My male manager asked questions about the surgery and then was SO embarrassed when he realized what part of my body we were discussing. So ridiculous.
Ooof. There is nothing more embarrassing to me than an adult “man” who gets embarrassed by an adult woman.
That was the line I came here to blast ! Thank you for always blowing the lid off. I read your work and leave a little more brave, Rebecca. I think I have shared hard truths and blood letting until I read yours. Thank you, always.
Two things came to mind when I read this as well. About my dead Mom. (So thank you for that too!)
She once told me that she did not really know what sex was until she met my stepfather. And she feared for the kind of women we would become had she not left our Dad.
I wonder what her Substack would look like today and love imagining that for her.
Oh I love this so much thank you for sharing. And I’m so glad she was able to become the kind of woman she was. ❤️🔥
That's our dance eternally: the infinity loop of being and becoming at the same time.
information is like nipples, everyone has them but women aren't supposed to show theirs.
Thanks for the raucous belly laugh!
"Guts are still guts even if you keep them in air-tight containers. And there is a difference between women in community and Tupperware parties." BRUTAL. I love this.
❤️❤️❤️
I love this so much and I am SOBBING. Thank you so much for demonstrating that it's ok to pull back the curtain and show people the icky stuff. Let people see how bad it gets, and be honest about the mess that you live in. That doing so is, as you say, freedom. I'm grateful you are brave and talk about the things we don't talk about. You light the way! ilysm5eva xoxo
I love you, Laura! THANK YOU FOR YOUR IMPORTANT WORK! So proud to know and adore you!
I just pulled "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" off my bookshelf to give to my daughter and then realized I have no idea if it aged well so i should probably read it first. I'm sad I don't have II with me (though I definitely had it at some point). It'd be fun to re-read your chapter now after "knowing" you for 15+ years through blogging.
Great post, as always :)
Ahhh. Not in the first one. But that book was why I submitted to the second! (And I wonder if it did age well!? Did it!?)
I'll report back once I read it. :)
My Mourning Period was one of the chapters of your book that grabbed me as a reader … and one of the chapters I reference when I tell people they need to read your book.
Thank you, Chris. ❤️
Love every word of this
My first therapist said something to me that I'll never forget... we ENTER THIS WORLD in a mess. The blood, excretions and all of it is messy and painful from the very beginning. And BTW-- kiss like a horse? Horse muzzles are so soft and sweet!!! muah!