how hard is your soft launch

to overshare or undershare a relationship on the Internet

It starts like this:

You’re dating someone.

It turns a corner from casual to… hmmmm maybe this is NOT very casual actually to OH SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING.

Because it is.

And there you are: riding the euphoric wave of ACT ONE.

And it’s yours, all yours and you don’t want anyone to know about it — beyond your A team, that is — because you’re still metabolizing, right? It’s no one’s business but yours. (And a few best friends.) Because you don’t want to jinx, share, make it weird and taking something public — anything public — feels… risky.

Because it is.

Because you live in The World and know that everything is temporary. That every intimate relationship you’ve ever been in has been temporary. And that every person you date has had the same experience. This is not to say that temporary is a bad thing. It’s actually quite liberating to go into a relationship sans expectations. (I have written at length about the joys of the short and medium-term relationship. That measuring our relationship successes in longevity does us all a disservice.)

Still, once you release a relationship publicly, you raise the stakes. First with friends — then with children — and finally, with whomever follows you on social media.

Which is why you understand why people don’t disclose their relationships until they’re engaged or married or ten years into something or NEVER because, ooof. And you say ooof because you learned the hard way.